>Be at animu convention
>convention nearly over, it was boring pretty much most of the time and all I bought was a plushie for shits 'n giggles
>figure I should at least get a picture with a cosplayer
>Only cosplayer I can see a clearly gay(and retarded) person cosplaying the Bygone Motel guy(the guy in the pic)
>figure I need at least one souvenir from this three-day shitshow
>he's eager to take a picture with me, probably most others have feared contracting AIDS by touch
>have deadpan expression before and after taking the picture, hoping to spook the gay boy who fucking loves science into thinking a ghost or something altered the picture
>sperg-lord plan fails, queer recognizes it as me goofing
>in last bid attempt to gaslight the man as revenge for his having brushed shoulders with me during the picture, smile at him with a closed mouth(this is important), then pop a hand sanitizer wipe in my mouth, my hand and jaw moving at the speed of lightning, while holding the same grin in place before and after.
>He stares at me, and then, with all of the condescension of a kindergarten teacher, he says, 'hey buddy, you should probably get that out of your mouth'
>I reach almost my entire cupped hand into my mouth, grab the wipe covertly, and push onto one side of my otherwise-empty mouth, then scooping the wipe into a fist so that it's not visible, saying 'grnphpt what? There's nothing here.'
>I hold my clenched fist up, not betraying a microscopic fraction of an inch of that wet wipe
>he stares at me, into my eyes, into the four dimensions of my low-functioning autism
>My tard cosmos is burning
>thrust clenching fist forward, and unfurl hand, letting loose the slobbery sanitizer wipe
>it hits his face, leaving a 'slash' in his makeup
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